5 (Absolutely True) Facts about Redheads

As you probably know (because I paste my face all over the internet like a conceited monkey), I have red hair. Well, it’s actually more auburn, but red is red is red. Even if it’s not. *makes sense*

There are a lot of myths floating around about redheads. For instance, some people believe all redheads are witches. Like, not witches as in mean people, but witches. As in they ride on broomsticks. This is untrue. Trust me.

However, there are many things that bind all people of scarlet locks together. Here are the top five.

5 (Absolutely True) Facts about Redheads

1: All Redheads Love Sugar

You might say, “Well, that’s true of almost everyone …”

Au, contraire, mon ami! Redheads have even more of a sugar lust than you or anyone else could possibly imagine. They may deny it, but secretly, in their closets, the chocolate peeps await.

Actually, our red hair is sugar-powered … or rather sugar-created. I’m not kidding. They come into being when women eat large quantities of sweets during pregnancy. Sometimes in their sleep. So they don’t remember it.

2: All Redheads Are Temperamental

This is a myth you’ve heard before, but I bet you didn’t know that it’s actually true! If a redhead doesn’t have a quick temper, she is prone to some other kind of melodrama, such as being overly emotional or suffering from violent mood swings. You see, redheads have a lot of emotional energy due to all the sugar highs and lows, and they need to let it out somehow.

I, personally, let it out with violent fits of anger. I know redheads, however, that try to contain it. But they ultimately fail. ‘Cause all redheads are temperamental.

3: All Redheads are Magically Special

How this ‘special’ manifests itself varies, but usually redheads are one-up on every other kind of head. If you’re not a redhead, you’re not going to be able to accomplish as much as a redhead.

4: All Redheads Are Seductive Minxes with a Grudge

True, that. They probably have sorceress leanings, too.

And … what does that mean for my followers?

Run, run, as fast as you can

I’ll probably catch you

I’m a redhead with grudge

5: All Redheads Are Secretly Irish

Even if they deny it, they are. Don’t let them tell you lies about their actual origins. All redheads are secretly Irish. They just want to keep it quiet.

Because sometimes their families will be, I don’t know, German or something, and they want to be the same as everyone else (in their family).

Traitors.


And there you have it, folks! A redhead reveals her deep, dark secrets.

Adios,

~Kellyn Roth~

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p.s.

Do you know anyone with red hair? Are you a redhead yourself? Have you seen (or experiences) redheads showing any of the tell-tale signs? Contact Redhead Control immediately at 1-800-CONTROLTHERED if you have.

Before you go …

Some actual redhead stuff

  • Having people stop you in the street and say, “Oh, what pretty  red hair you have!” Me: *accepts compliments with knowing nod*
  • Having people tell you about every redhead they know. Because they think you care. Because you have the same hair color. I wanna say, “Okay, now I’ll tell you about every brunette I know …”
  • Getting asked if you dyed your hair. “Of course. I bathe it every night in the blood of my enemies …”
  • Having people assume you’re a firecracker. I am a boring person when you first meet me. Until I’m not. But then I still lapse into boring every so often or when with my family, but I’m more of a moody teen who just wants to curl up with a book and be left alone. Actually, I’m listening in to all their conversations, but whatever …
  • Boys (and other people) will call you ‘Ginger,’ ‘Carrots,’ and ‘Red’ because they think it annoys you. Actually, it pleases me. Keep it up!
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55 thoughts on “5 (Absolutely True) Facts about Redheads

  1. Ah, Kellyn! You made me laugh! I’ve always thought I should have been a redhead- now you’ve proved it. Even worst- my hair WAS red when I was younger. Yeah, it started out blonde. And then it was red. And now it’s brown. Bleh. Also my eyes used to be blue. And then they were green. And now they are hazel (but, amazingly, can still change colors based on my mood!) Sometimes I’ve thought about dying my hair red- I could totally get away with it. My mom has red hair, and my siblings are all blondies- yeah, I’m the only person in my family with color changing eyes and brown hair. My siblings all have blue eyes. I have no idea where I came from.

    So I might as well be a redhead.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My brother started out with blonde hair and blue eyes, and now he has dark murky green eyes and almost brown hair … so yep, hair and eye colors can definitely change. 😛

      Like

    1. Two of my nieces have strawberry blonde. Based on their behavior (and that of my brother-in-law), I must assume that they aren’t really redheads, though I think it’s a case-by-case thing. 😉 (Jk!)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wait, excuse me, but a ton of redheads are Scottish, not Irish.😂 I have reddish brown hair and I’m Scottish and my dad has completely red hair so boom! 😛 Haha I love this post, and I wish my hair was completely red. It turns red in the summer, but it’s usually reddish brown.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have Irish relatives somewhere around here… *looks around* Not sure where?

    Getting asked if you dyed your hair. “Of course. I bathe it every night in the blood of my enemies …”

    That was awesome.

    No, really, that is amazing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. In the sun light just before dusk, my dark brown hair appears red! I’ve always wanted red hair, and yes, I’m both Scottish and Irish so. . .
    – Megan Joy
    p.s. True story – one day I was on my way to Irish dance class and my hair turned red. Irish dance must be in my blood. Believe it or not!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, well, I wrote this post for the other-than-redheads of the world … TO SPREAD REDHEAD AWARENESS! 😉

      Huh, must have gotten messed up when I changed it last week. I guess I’ll have to edit it again … *sigh*

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my gosh! These are all SOOO TRUE! When I was reading the sugar one, I was literally stuffing my face with marshmallows and macadamie nuts covered with dark chocolate. XD XD XD I’m also very Irish. 😀
    ~Sam, the redhead

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Everyone wants to be a redhead …

      Seriously, though, Mirra, I was just joking throughout this whole post. Redheads aren’t really awesomer than people with other hair-colors. In fact, when I was little, I always wanted darker hair … like brown or black! (you’re not gonna believe that, but it’s true!)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. My goodness, this was amazing. When I was younger it was always my desperate dream to have fiery dark red hair… sadly, I am a brunette, and I never had any plausible hope. At least my hair looks red in the sunlight, though.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s so weird! When I was little, I wanted brown hair. I still think brown hair is the prettiest … especially when it’s combed until it’s shiny! But I do like having red hair … because it’s original, y’know. 🙂

      Like

  7. I have never heard of people thinking redheads are witches. I’d never think that either. You’re just so pretty and so are all of the other redheads! Witches aren’t real anyway. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a medieval myth … well, in some countries … actually. I think because they’re so rare and people were pretty suspicious back then. But yeah, I know you don’t think that!

      And … I think witches are kinda real in a way, but not in the ‘rides on a broomstick,’ etc. way. And I doubt anyone accused of being a witch was a witch! Like the Salem Witchcraft Trials. *shivers* We studied them in history this year. Quite silly.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Witches. First thing that comes to mind is the pointy hat and the cackle and the riding on the broomstick. And cheese…. which is weird.
        Yeah, I think witches are kind of real in a way… unless I’m thinking of the wrong thing.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Haha! My sis is a redhead, and that last one about people thinking you dyed it is pretty accurate. Some of my sister’s hair almost looks purple in the sunlight, so people always think she’s dyed it. 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! XD 😉 Yeah!! It’s pretty funny, because her hair is like three different shades of red…like you can find different pieces of her hair and when you compare them, they don’t look like they should be on the same person without being dyed! XD Haha!

        Liked by 1 person

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